My friend, Chris.

On Monday, I learned that one of my best friends from high school passed away suddenly. I’ve been reminiscing ever since, with a deep sadness in my gut, trying to wrap my head around it.

I just adored the photos he posted of he and his son on Father’s Day only a week ago. How is Chris not living now, nine days later?

I met Chris Smith at Northside High School somewhere between 9th and 10th grade. He lived with his mom in a small house on Sarah Drive.

Chris and I met in an English class, started speaking and immediately hit it off and collected a bunch of inside jokes. He was always such an upbeat guy and wanted everybody else to be upbeat with him.

I knew that Chris had his own issues going on, but he never got deep into them. He was always making a joke, or doing some crazy walk or funny face.. making me laugh.

I loved the way he spoke, because he was from New Jersey and he definitely carried that vibe here with him. He missed New Jersey a lot and would talk about it to me. He would tell me about the sub sandwiches there, that Subway was a joke (of course it is- he was way ahead of me). We went to Baldino’s a couple of times together after he moved on to Belmont Avenue, I believe it was. He told me that Baldino’s was the closest match to New Jersey subs in the south. I believed him.

Chris and I were together a lot after school in the afternoons. His mom worked a lot, so she wasn’t home much. He didn’t have a car, so I would help by taking him to the store or to get food. He was always so considerate when he asked for a favor, always insisting on giving me a few dollars for gas even if I told him not to. If I said no, he’d sit the money in the seat of my car anyway.

I had an ‘84 Reliant that used to run hot all the time. When it did, I remember me and Chris pulling into the American Pride car wash (now closed and disheveled) on Watson Boulevard and spraying my car down with water until it cooled off. We probably did that five or six times.

Chris introduced me to Wu-Tang Clan and … feta cheese. I’d never heard of feta cheese and he always talked about how awesome it was, but I  thought it was strange and stinky. He would eat it whole, taking huge bites. Finally, one day he convinced me to try it and to my surprise, I liked it. Every time I eat feta cheese, I think of Chris devouring jars of it from his fridge.

Chris loved the Wu-Tang Clan and Sublime. We would hang out and listen to this music for hours. I experimented with “shrooms” for the first time with Chris one summer. We sat on his bed and we laughed and laughed until we ached as we listened to Wu-Tang Clan. In time, I’d bought all of their CD’s. I could rap right along with Method Man and ODB. So could Chris.

Chris loved Sheryl Crow, he thought she was the hottest woman on Earth.  He also loved Faygo fruit flavored sodas. I would drink them too, because they were cheap and delicious.

He was like the brother that I never had. He was quirky and fun, he was kind and he was warm. He was tall and lanky, my same height. I was goofy and he was goofy.

It was a good friendship,

He helped me smile when my home life was depressing as hell. Our hangouts distracted me from all that.

Chris loved his mother very much. He lost her several years ago. I remember feeling so sad for him when I heard that she passed because she was all that he really had for many years of his life. His dad wasn’t in the picture, but he only touched on it a few times.

I know that Chris loved his son immensely and I’m very sad that his baby doesn’t get to have his dad around anymore. It is surely devastating.

I keep thinking that I wish I had known exactly what Chris was going through and I wish that I’d had a better intuition that things weren’t okay with him.

I’m still kind of in a state of shock that his passing is real. Mostly, I hope that he knew that I always thought a whole lot of him.